Dear Diane Column — April 1, 2012

Dear Diane,

My husband and I recently went to our thirtieth reunion together. It was fun catching up with everyone, and my husband had an especially good time. The problem is that we ran into a friend I’ll call Roy who we haven’t seen in many years. He and my husband were good friends for a long time, and Roy has approached us about investing in a marketing opportunity with him. I immediately smelled a rat, but my husband insists that we should give it a try. I don’t like the idea of being taken for a ride, but I’m fighting a losing battle. How do I convince my husband not to throw away our money?

The Bad Guy

Dear Bad Guy,

I pick up the same reservations that you do, so please know that your instincts are correct. The real issue here is your husband’s friendship with Roy, and how much of a liability it will be for you.
I sense that Roy has gone through several failed business ventures, as well as a serious battle with drinking. Investing a large sum of money with him would be a mistake, and a background check will confirm his past failures.
Your husband has fond memories of his friend, so I would tread gently when inquiring about the “business opportunity.” If only a small amount of money is involved, wish your husband luck and consider the money a part of your entertainment budget.
If a larger sum is requested, you owe it to your husband to do a background check on his long lost friend. The news may leave your husband feeling hurt, but you have to protect your financial future.
In time Roy will show you both who he is now, for better or worse.

Diane
_______________________

Dear Diane,

I have been in an on again, off again relationship for the past three years. I love this man with all my heart, but I don’t know how much more I can stand.
When he and I met, he was going through a divorce, so I figured his marriage was over. Two years ago his son was diagnosed with cancer, and the family reconciled while the young man had chemo. He is in remission and doing well, but my boyfriend says that he’s afraid to leave for fear of causing stress on his son. Both parents agree that they still want to divorce, but have put things on hold indefinitely.
My question is, should I wait for this man until he’s ready to commit to me? How long will he stay married? Do you see a future between us? My birthday is 5-25-65.

Leslie

Dear Leslie, 

Your boyfriend is already in a committed relationship with his family. While I sense the attraction that you feel for this man, I don’t see a divorce for him for many years to come. While his romantic relationship with his wife has been weakened through the years, his relationship with his family as a father could not be stronger.
I’m sure that this is a difficult time for him as well, so if you truly love this man, you will talk seriously with him about what actions will most benefit his family’s journey. He cares deeply for you, but he feels a need to stay where he is.
If the two of you agree that he should focus on his son’s battle, you will have to put personal needs aside and move on. It won’t be easy, but I see that you are strong enough to do it.
On a positive note, I feel his son continuing to get stronger. Good luck to you all!

Diane
_______________________

Dear Diane,

My husband’s mother has an oval picture frame in her entry hall that has been in the family for many years. It looks quite old, and it kind of gives me the creeps. I’m not sure what it is, but it makes me ill at ease.
Recently she hinted that she was going to pass it on to me someday, and I’m not sure what to say. The idea of having to live with it for the rest of my life makes me really uncomfortable. Is this thing cursed? If so, how do I get out of this?

Truly Disturbed

Dear Truly, 

I pick up that this frame was once owned by an elderly female who was quite depressed. You are picking up on her energy whenever you are near the frame.
It’s nice that your mother in law wants to pass something along to you. If it is offered to you again, simply nod and say something pleasant. I see another family member who will want the frame, and you will be off the hook.

Diane

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