Dear Diane Column — April 23, 2011

Dear Diane,

My family is in an uproar, and everyone is upset. My brother died recently and left his estate to all of us siblings equally. My problem is this. My younger sister is a drug user, so giving her part of this money means putting it up her nose. My older brother has everything he needs, so this money is meaningless to him. I, on the other hand, have a son at college and I’m out of work. I have another brother who is behind in his child support. How can I get past the feeling that some of us are more deserving than others? I’ve worked hard to put food on the table, and I wish the others could see that. I don’t want to be petty. I miss my brother terribly.

Elaine

Dear Elaine,

Your last statement says it all. I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother. It’s clear that you really miss him.
Sometimes, when a loved one passes, we equate the inheritances with signs of love. If brother really loved us, he would have done more for us.
Families are difficult to navigate. Your brother had no choice but to treat you equally, as he loved all of you as his siblings. I feel that he did not judge the need or lack of any individual. He simply wanted all of you to feel equally embraced and accepted.
I see that he had a special relationship with your younger sister, attempting to guide her to a more spiritual path. If you can be there for her, I know it would mean the world to him to see you continue with her on her journey.
Please know that your brother truly loved you, and that he will continue to send loving energy.

Diane

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Dear Diane

My boss is hinting to us that she might be leaving the company where I work. Will my department get a new director? Will they promote from within? Am I going to survive the transition? What will my title be? I was born 7-7-63.

L.E.

Dear L.E, 

I can understand your concern. I see that you have had unexpected job changes in the past. Have you noticed that you always seem to land on your feet? Change is never a sure thing, but you are a hard worker—so to some degree—you have made your own luck.
Try and release the worry for now. While it may help you feel in control, constant stress is not your friend. Be confident that whatever happens, you will handle it and move forward to even greater things. If your boss asks you to follow her to a new job, please consider it. It may mean more money for you. Good luck!

Diane

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Dear Diane,

My boyfriend from many years ago contacted me recently. I was crazy about him before, but he was dishonest with me and I left him. He has since married and divorced twice, and I’ve stayed single. Just hearing his voice took me back to feelings I never thought I’d have again. I want so much to throw myself into these feelings, but I still don’t trust it. He says that he’s grown and changed a lot, but I’m still not convinced. Should I refuse to see him?

Julie

Dear Julie,

It sounds like an absolutely epic attraction! I do see a great deal of karmic connection here, so I can understand your fear of getting involved again.
While I see that he has grown some in the time that you’ve been apart, he has many tests ahead of him to determine whether he can be reliable and faithful. Before you make a decision, think about what you would need to see from him in order to trust him.
If you do decide to spend time with him, encourage him to talk about his past relationships. Does he take responsibility, or does he place the blame elsewhere?
Set boundaries for yourself, and stay true to them. This is an opportunity for you to take wonderful care of yourself, and maybe find love in the process. Whatever happens, rejoice in feeling alive again!

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