Dear Diane Column — July 2, 2011

Dear Diane,

I see the same man every day when I go to the office. He works in my building. When I first saw him, I had an amazing feeling of peace, like I had seen a long lost friend I’d been searching for. This is really confusing because I’ve never had such an instant reaction to someone. Am I crazy? I haven’t approached him yet, and I don’t know if I’m  even  supposed to. It’s not really a romantic feeling, just a feeling of loving energy. How do I handle this? I find myself stalling for time in the lobby so that I can see him in the elevator. I feel really silly asking this. Help!

Helen

Dear Helen, 

How lucky you are to feel that connection! A few times in my life, I’ve felt an instant rapport with someone, and it has always guided me in the direction of greater knowledge. One was a boss who gave me confidence, another became a lifelong friend, and yet another became an important relationship which taught me so much. When your inner guidance sends you a message to connect with a kindred spirit, consider it a wonderful gift presented for the unwrapping.
I sense that you are shy, and that breaking the ice is hard for you. Why not prepare a question in advance. Everyone likes to be appreciated, so noticing a colorful tie or a sharp looking briefcase is simple. If you get the ball rolling, I see this man being quite friendly and talkative. I sense that he has also noticed your presence. Go into this without expectations, as spirit is also involved in this meeting. Have fun!

Diane
_________________________

Dear Diane,

My sister and I have been arguing with each other since we were teenagers. I love her but she makes me crazy. For whatever reason, everything is a competition. I had a magazine article published, so she says she’s writing a book. My husband got a great new job, so she’s claiming that she got a big raise. Whenever something good happens for me, she has to brag about something better. I feel like just once, I wish she’d be happy for me. It’s always about her. I want to keep her in my life, because she’s all the family I have. Our parents divorced when we were young, so we have always had to watch out for each other. How do I get her to see that I’m not competing with her?

Debra


Dear Debra, 

I can sense you competing with each other, and this is more natural than you might think. Growing up in a divorced household, I’m sure you competed for your parents’ attention and time. Single parents usually have a lot less time to give, so perhaps you both felt shortchanged.
I pick up that your approval is extremely important to your sister. She wants to know that she matters to you, and that you see her as being important. As difficult as it may be, try and make a big deal about your sister’s accomplishments. The more important you help her to feel, the more she will treat you with the respect that you deserve. Childhood wounds can take a long time to heal, so be patient. She’s lucky to have a sister who cares.

Diane
_________________________

Dear Diane,

I left a generous cash contribution to a charity in the group envelope at work. Everyone was encouraged to contribute what they could for a family that lost everything to a fire. I know what I put in there, and the total money collected was barely more than I contributed. I think someone must have taken money out of the envelope. I don’t want to accuse anyone, but it makes me feel like we have a thief among us. We are all on the honor system. How should I handle this?

R.K.

Dear R.K.

How disappointing to feel that you can’t trust those around you. I pick up that there was indeed more money in the envelope, but there may be a logical explanation.
If a higher up had final control of the envelope, make a point of asking them for a charitable receipt for the amount that you contributed. This way, they will know that you are aware of the problem. It will also alert them to the issue if they are not aware themselves.
Next time, pay with a check!

Diane

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