Dear Diane Column — June 24, 2012

Dear Diane,

I am currently unemployed again for the second time in a year and I am having a hard time finding new employment.  Last year I had to take a position with a cut in pay and to supplement my income I had to take a part time job in the retail industry.  In late April I was let go in my full time day job.  I am having a hard time mentally being unemployed again and I wanted to ask if you had any advice for me in regards to my career path.  I feel so lost is there something I am doing wrong?  Do you see that I will be unemployed for a long period of time like last year?

Thank you, P.A

Dear P.A,

Sometimes  we stay to long in the wrong situations, and the universe pushes us out of the nest. I know that it must seem scary to be job hunting again, but I feel that it’s time for you to take stock of your abilities. If you have trouble thinking outside of the box, ask your friends to contribute insight into talents and abilities that you might build upon. My instinct is that you have much more to share with the world than you’ve considered.

Starting a small business using any or all of your skills can help to ease the transition between jobs, and eventually you may choose to work for yourself. I see opportunity coming by the end of October to move into another full time position, but only you can decide if this is the right move.

Instead of looking on your dismissal as a firing, see it as a chance to move into a position that is perfect for you.  Here’s wishing you a wonderful future!

Diane
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Dear Diane, 

I’ve cared for my daughter for all of her life, as she was born with both hearing problems and developmental issues.  She is a sweet and kind young woman, and I know that she  wants to live an adult life like her siblings. The problem is that I’m not sure of any career that she could have and make a living for herself. She’s in her twenties but has never dated, and is very innocent when it comes to people, especially men. Her birthdate is 11-6-87.

My son thinks that if we can get her an implant for her hearing, she can live a more normal life. Her father has passed, so she lives with me, and I’m willing to take care of her for as long as I can. The problem is that I won’t be around forever,

Most people do not notice that she has learning disabilities, and she is quite friendly and talkative.  Her reading skills are not bad, she graduated high school and she likes playing on the computer.

Do you see her as being able to move beyond our current situation? Is there a career path that you suggest? I’ve been told that I’m overly protective, but I don’t want to throw her out into the world and have it hurt her. I want what’s best for her in the long run. Any suggestions?

Mary

Dear Mary,

Your daughter is lucky to have a family that cares so deeply. She’s a very special soul, and I know that you want what is best for her. Her brother is correct about the surgery, as it will indeed help her to feel more grounded in the world around her.

As for career, your daughter has many wonderful talents, but I see an especially strong link with animals.  Her lovely energy seems to calm them, so she would do very well with a dog grooming business. Perhaps you can begin this journey by finding a class or teacher for her.

While your daughter is not dating, I see that there is a relationship in her future. It’s important to start talking to her about dating and relationships, as you want her to be as prepared as possible. Perhaps one of her siblings can arrange a double date or two so that she feels comfortable with  making her own decisions.

Yes, Mary, you’ve been protective, but I do see your daughter having a chance for a more adult life.  If you take things one step at a time, you will both be ready to step into a future filled with more joy than you know. I’m rooting for you both!

Diane
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Dear Diane,

I’m in the middle of World War Three. My son was in jail for having a small amount of drugs, and recently he was released from jail. He wants to come and stay with me, and he wants to bring his pregnant girlfriend. He’s always been a very good kid, and I never saw any trouble until he started dating this woman. She’s a foul mouthed loser, and I can’t imagine having to share space with her, much less breathe the same air.

I want to take care of my son, but I told him his friend is not welcome. Now he’s furious with me and he’s staying with some people that could get his probation revoked. Again, I never had problems with him until he started hanging out with losers. Now I just want to help him.

Do you see him coming home to live? Will he stay out of trouble in the future?

Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,

I know that you love your son, but it’s time for a reality check. Your son has been involved with minor drug use for several years, and his current girlfriend is not to blame.  He is indeed a pretty nice young man, but he needs to begin taking responsibility for his future, and that means staying out of jail.

This might be the perfect time to get to know his girlfriend a bit better, as she will be the mother of your grandchild. Like it or not, you are stuck with her. I see that she has been defensive around you and has made a poor impression.  Perhaps you can meet with them both and try getting to know her better. It appears that she is intelligent and will try to be a good mother, so those are points in her favor.

If you decide to have them as guests in your home, lay down some ground rules, especially for your son. Ask him to be an accountable, working member of the household, and spell out for him what that means. While this couple is off to a rocky start, I see that with your guidance, they have a chance at a future. Good luck!

Diane

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