Dear Diane Column — May 7, 2011

Dear Diane,

I was adopted at birth, and I searched for many years to find my birth parents. I was really disappointed to find out my Mom died in a car accident soon after I was born. I met my Dad, but he is not a very good person. Can you tell me anything about my Mom or what she was like? Is she aware of me, wherever she is? Will I see her some day? Her name was Violette Ruth.


Dear Denise,

I’m so very sorry that your search has brought you frustration. While you don’t mention your adoptive parents, I sense that they wanted you very much, and were so excited when you joined the family. Even though you come from someone else’s body, to them you are absolutely their baby.

Not everyone is ready to be a parent, and your birth father is proof of that. Be grateful for the fact that you have a loving family, even if he is not a part of it.

I pick up your Mom as having brown hair and absolutely beautiful eyes, very much like yours. She was creative and intelligent, and a bit prone to depression. She absolutely is aware of you, and her spirit is never far away. She thought about being a writer, and you have her talent for observation. Meditate on her, and know that she is sending you love.

I get a feeling of an upcoming birth in your family, and that she will be around!


Dear Diane,

I’m having issues with feeling a bit jealous, and this isn’t like me. I’m happy when my friends succeed, but lately I’m kind of cross. I’ve worked at the same company for six years, and while I’ve had small raises, I feel a bit stuck.

My friend Emily has had three promotions in two years, and her boyfriend just proposed. She comes from a wealthy family, so she already owns a home while I’m stuck in an apartment. I want to be happy for her, but it’s like she was handed everything so easily. I feel like it’s MY turn to have that kind of luck. How can get the kind of life she has?


Dear Lauren, 

Everyone has blessings, but sometimes we fail to recognize our own. I see many great adventures ahead for you, as well as a change in career. Some people see their lives take on a clear shape early on. Others are in the process of becoming someone extraordinary. Not all of us can know the secrets of the future, and not every path is set in stone.

I’ll tell you what I do pick up. You will have an opportunity to return to school, and this will lead you in a new direction. Travel is involved with your new career, and it will bring lots of adventure, and a charming partner to share your life. The best is yet to come. I’m glad you are happy for your friend!


Dear Diane,

I love my boyfriend very much, and we have talked marriage. I can’t see myself with anyone but him, and I feel he’s my soul mate.

My sister, however, has a strange dislike for him. She’s not around him that much, but she always rolls her eyes when she hears about him, and calls him a “loser.” She’s never had this reaction to anyone else I’ve dated, and I want them to get along. I want her to tell me what it is she dislikes, but she says she doesn’t want to talk about it. What can I do? I want everyone to be happy.


Dear A.C, 

While you love your boyfriend, I pick up that he needs to be the center of attention, and while you don’t see his behavior, your sister does. She wants you to be happy, but sees him as trying to isolate and control you.

Make plans to spend time with the two of them together, and watch how each of them reacts. If your sister has been great in the past, she will no doubt try to be accommodating. Pay attention to how your boyfriend reacts. Is he able to relate to the family as a group, or only to you? Does he ever try to isolate you and control his time with you?

Courtship is a time to pay attention to issues and work them out. If this man really loves you, he will listen to your feelings. Don’t sweep this under the rug. Deal with it now, and be glad to have loved ones who look out for you!


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