Dear Diane Column — November 6, 2012

Dear Diane,

My sister passed almost 3 years ago of sudden heart failure. When I read at night in bed, my light goes off and I put my hand on the bulb to change it, thinking it has burned out, but when I touch it, it comes right back on. This has happened several times in last 2 months. I would really like to know who is trying to reach out to me, I have been depressed a long time, even before my sister’s passing. My father committed suicide when I was 4. I have lost several relatives. I just want to know if this is a fluke of my lamp, or maybe someone trying to reach me, and who. Any way of knowing what is really going on?


Dear L.O,

I’m so sorry to hear about your losses. It sounds as though you’ve dealt with a great deal of sadness. Please know that those in spirit are always with us, even if we don’t see the signs.
Electricity is a common way that spirits seem to communicate. I notice that wherever I go to do readings, lights often flicker in response to comments in the reading. While this is one type of communication that I’ve noticed, it is by no means the only one.

If you wish to test the validity of the electrical surge that you are getting, you might have an electrician that you trust take a look at both the socket and the lamp to check for loose wires. If everything checks out, perhaps you can ask spirit for a quick flash of the bulb as confirmation of your belief.

The real problem, L.O, is when we start looking for very specific signs to prove to us that our loved ones survive. In looking for the big, showy demonstrations of otherworldly energy, we often miss out on the subtle whispers that our loved ones convey to us often.

I suggest that you sit somewhere quiet and relax your mind and body. Begin thinking about your sister and all of the good times that you remember. If you have a memento that reminds you of her, or a picture, have it with you. Continue your trip down memory lane, and when you finish, hold your sister in your heart and say a simple “ I love you.” Be still for a few minutes and pay attention to any feelings that arise. You may have a sense of peace, you may hear words in your head, you may even have a sense of being “not alone.” Whatever it is that you experience, pay close attention, as your departed friends are no doubt trying to tell you that “we love you too!”

A sign from a loved one can also be something as simple as a sudden memory of the summer that the two of you ate ice cream every day. By recognizing the small miracles around you, you will start to see that they are with you all of the time.

L.O, please know that there are many people who care about you. I see that depression runs in your family, so I hope that you will seek professional help if things become too difficult. Love and blessings to you!


Dear Diane

I’ve been divorced for 10 years, and unattached for the last 5 of those. My children are grown and gone, work is satisfying, but I find myself missing romantic love. Will I ever find that again? My birthday is 5-14-58

Thanks, Wondering

Dear Wondering,

You are a very complex person. I sense that while you really want a relationship in the future, you are still holding on to pain from your past. In other words, you are avoiding getting too close to anyone who could hurt you.

I am impressed by the level of sensitivity that I get from you, and I see that you are still somewhat fragile when it comes to relationships. Now is a great time to surround yourself with nurturing energy. A volunteer job with animals would be a great place for you to meet kindred spirits, and you will be helping these wonderful creatures as well. I see friendships coming from this that could last a lifetime.

As for romance of the human kind, I see an opportunity for a special relationship in the spring. Take it slow, as you will need time for your heart to trust completely. I see travel and water, and plenty of adventure. Good luck!


Dear Diane,

My mother committed suicide when I was young, and I still ask myself why I wasn’t enough to make her happy. I was only in the first grade, and never understood what happened, as everything was kind of kept quiet. Why did she have to leave me? I’m grown and a mother myself, and I could never do that to my son. Is she O.K? Her name was Millie and she was born 3-3-1953.

Lost Girl

Dear Lost,

I can feel your sadness, and I’m so sorry that you lost your mom. Suicide is never an answer to life’s problems, but I do see that your mother was out of touch with reality.

What I sense from Millie is that she had a very difficult time growing up, with many unpleasant situations around her. She had a child because she felt that by having you, she would have someone to love who would love her back. Her issues with depression ran deep and in the end, this condition overcame her.

Depression is a disease, with physical and mental limitations that can be unbearable. Treatment for depression has come a long way, but there is still so much to understand about diet, exercise and genetics. Your mother was a victim of a chemical imbalance, and nothing you could do as a child could have changed that. What you need to know is that she loved you, and her death had nothing to do with her joy at having you as a daughter. You meant the world to her, and she’s sorry that she couldn’t hang on.

Please know that she is with you always, and she hears you when you talk to her at night. She shows me “Purple Irises” as though that will have a special meaning for you. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss.


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