Dear Diane — February 26, 2011

Dear Diane,

I’ve been with the same man for several years, and we have talked about getting married. I love him, but I’m not sure I’m “in love” anymore. I used to feel so excited whenever we were together, but now every time feels like the last. I don’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water, but I’m afraid the spark has gone. I can’t even remember why exactly I fell in love with him. Help!

June

Dear June, 

Every relationship has its seasons, and it sounds like you are experiencing winter. In winter, everything appears to be dead, yet many things have yet to spring out of the soil. This is a time to take stock of the seeds which have been planted. I pick up, for instance, that the two of you have amazing communication. This is a quality that will continue to flourish for as long as the relationship is nurtured.

As it is time to bring the spring back into your relationship, try stretching your connection by planning some new experiences. Seeing your partner in a different context may reawaken a feeling of newness.

If you are still uncertain, a trial separation may be in order. Sometimes the threat of losing someone can help to remind us of all of the reasons we love one another. If this is necessary, be honest with your loved one and explain that you need a bit of time to think things over. I feel a lot of love on both sides, so don’t give up!

Diane

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Dear Diane, 

My necklace that my late husband gave me is missing. I’m so upset, as the only people who have been to my house are my best friend and my nephew. I want to trust them both, but one of them has to have taken it. Can you tell me which one did it?

Claudia

Dear Claudia, 

I’m not sure if it makes any sense, but I hear the name “Marie.” I don’t think this is either of the people that you mentioned. While the necklace may be gone, the love that went with it will always be with you. Nothing that is ours is ever truly lost, and I feel a reminder of your husband’s love that has yet to be discovered. I see a small box on a closet shelf. Good luck!

Diane

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Dear Diane,

I have three boyfriends, Judah, Joshua and Koby. Can you tell me if one of them is my soulmate? Should I keep looking? I was born 8-12-92.

C.L.

Dear C.L.

Wow, you sound like a busy girl! One definition for soulmate is that they are the people we come here to learn with. I suspect, however, that you are asking about finding the great love of your life.

I feel you will be single for several years to come, but will marry and settle down around the age of thirty.  Every relationship between now and then will teach you what you need to know to sustain that relationship for a lifetime. Date now, and have fun. I sense that Koby really likes you!

Diane

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